Why pressurize children ?
The whole world is operating under pressures. May it be
a
country, Govt., community,
family or an individual? And
how
children can get spared. After all they represent us,
we
the people disseminate our wishes and whims and they
inherit, own and endeavor to perform.
The ones, who carry the
pressure supportingly, take the
pressure as challenge to be met-they participate in the
race to win. And some who resist pressure either rebel
or
choose their own way. They are the real masters of
themselves.
Ultimately what is being counted is who could deliver,
who
could score higher?
Some are capable to sustain the pressure and call for
more
and more. Probably they have been seasoned and
operating
without pressure will not drive them.
Obviously they are not self driven, though capable.
Their
own
motivation /self motivation is poor and they need
to be
worked upon by exercising pressure. You leave them
without
pressure, and see the results. They will be galloping
minus
in their performance. So the objective gets defeated.
If
the child will not score high, his chances of competing
for
prestigious way of life are bleak, unless he is
learning.
becoming wiser by not scoring.
Is it the only route that you pressurize and get the
higher
score? Surely not, but a well tried and fairly good
results
have been achieved by exerting pressure in all the
matters,
why only scoring high. Parents represent a a mix of X
theory and Y theory practitioners, and 70 percent
though
may be wishing, that self drive is the best, but
themselves
practice pressurizing and obtain the desired results.
Our elders tell what they studied in 5th standard, is
being
taught to nursery, upper kg kids.Naturally,kids are
able to
withstand that kind of extra load of knowledge,
pressure of
building intelligence.
More you subject the children to more pressure and
learning, they are responding perfectly.Maturity is
creeping in with speed as you are seeding in.There is
no
doubt the capability exists to learn more and more.
Self driven are exceptions and can not become a thumb
rule.
Against
Why should parents exercise pressure on children for
scoring high? Parents normally assert saying that, it
is
for the benefit of children, their future and high
standard
of life—we are again and again reminding them, knocking
them, scolding, beating, and creating pressure directly
or
indirectly so that they perform.
So ultimately it is in their interest, not ours. We
have
done labour and achieved, or not done so are suffering.
It
is our wish that these children don’t feel short of
resources simply because they did not score high.
The argument is well taken, the spirit is appreciated,
but
I am not prepared to be driven that way. It is my life.
May
I MAKE IT OR RUIN IT. How are they concern? is the most
common reply flowing from delinquents.Can they be
applauded? No – surely not. But we need to understand
the
mechanism, the behaviour change or the pattern which is
emerging from such children.Are they really defaulters,
or
are result of pressures exercised directly or
indirectly.
Mostly can be attributed to indiscriminating use of
theory
X.Some children mature faster than the studies or the
course requirement, direction may be different. Scoring
high may not be their motivation. Instead their
understanding in certain areas may be a natural
phenomenon
which may not lead to high scoring. But if pressurized,
their getting frustrated, not becoming able to
coordinate
their own requirement of knowledge to that of school or
parents----is not abnormal.
Some parents realize this happening, witness the
development happening, but are not able to tune
themselves
up and instead continue hammering ritual ofexpectation
of
high scoring and the deadly communication of reminders.
Somewhere it might work and mostly it does. Parents are
part of that total environment.
What needs to be done in such cases- continues to be
matter
of Research and studies of children behaviour. But
maintaining sensitivities, grasping the need of
children
are essential elements than straight a way adopting the
ritual of building pressures for scoring high. Ultimate
objective of growth and development can not be ignored
and
to see and ensure how best that can happen, judgement,
wisdom of judgment needs to be practiced. Somewhere
stick
is all right, when it is called for, warranted,
somewhere
need for self motivation will have to be cultivated.
The
results can be surprisingly wonderful if parents
themselves
are sensitive, observing, witnessing the changes
happening
when you are pressurizing and using this tool
skillfully
with motivation.
Expose the children to all dimensions of life, blending
inputs of right and wrong with reasoning and rationale
coupled with your committed way of life, need for
pressurizing will be reduced and children will be able
to
take their own decisions. And that is what is largely a
Parents wish.
Ashwani arora