On what standard do we judge others to be more
beautiful than others? What standard do we use to label others as ugly or
beast? It is puzzling to notice that there’s so much difference when it comes to the issue of beauty and the not so
beautiful. Take for instance the beauty contest. Are the contests judged on their body image, looks, intelligent, inner beauty or maybe the combination of their personality or physical attributes?
If someone is labelled ugly; is it because of his/her physical attributes i.e. his/her looks, or personality, disfigured body image or any other factors? What do ugly people feel like? What impact does this have in their lives? I’m sure you’ll also find these questions challenging and eye opening.
James had a very painful
experience when he was a young boy. He was going to church when he met one of the big boys known to him and used to admire for his soccer skills, out of the blue he told James that he was very ugly, in fact he said "he is surprised that there are very ugly people like him". He didn’t know how to respond to his comments, he just kept quiet but it hurt him very bad.
James had a similar experience when he was in Grade 0. There was a young boy who use to tease him about his eyes. He use to come to him always and told James to iron his eyes and would laugh after that making it a joke. James had problems with eyes and had wriggles on eyelids hence the reason he should have iron his eyes; to straighten the eyelids.
Hence from these experiences James developed an attitude towards people who commented on physical attributes of others. Some family members, even old people sometimes inflict pain on children by comparing them with other siblings. They will praise another saying she is beautiful and sidelined the other. The impression on the child who is not commented on his/her beauty is that “I’m ugly or I’m the beast“.
James grew up knowing from experience that there are ugly and beautiful people. He grew up with a bruised ego, low self-esteem and inferior complexity thinking that he was ugly. As a young person he was a very strong person so he thought he was handling these situation very well but only to learn later in life the result of low-self esteem, which are devastating.
Many of us also grew up with a bruised ego, low self-esteem and inferior complexity due to negatives comments from friends and even our loved ones. One cannot immediately realize the impact of these comments until later in life.