You hug them without inhibitions, there are no pretensions in this relationship—you are you and they are they, you love them, they know it, they love you, you know it! You know you can ask them to ‘shut up’ or wake them up at midnight for that shoulder to cry on…But, is it possible that sometimes we take this loving
relationship a little too casually. We forget that we are fortunate to have been gifted this beautiful relationship—FRIENDSHIP. Let’s finds out what it takes to keep this beautiful relationship forever beautiful.
You always have so much to talk about with your friends. It really doesn't matter what you say, it's just being together that matters. Their presence may not lessen your pain, but it gives you the courage to go on. Psychologists claim that having relatives does not increase your lifespan but having friends does. FLASH tells you what can
strengthen and weaken the bond.
In kindergarten, your good friends shared their red crayons and chips with you. In Class XII, they helped you ‘win’ your girl and get the guess papers. After graduation they told you ‘she didn’t deserve you’ every time your girl ditched you. Then they went out of their way so that you could marry the one you loved and were the happiest when your baby called them ‘unceel’
The definition of a
FRIEND may change at different stages of our life, but the importance of a friend remains unchanged throughout the years.
“A good friend always remembers who we were and sees what we can be” - Unknown
How do
friendships grow
Friendships need time to grow and strengthen. Always accept your friends as they are. Don’t expect them to change for you. Be a good listener and refrain from offering advice or moralising every time. Respect your friends’ point of view. Try to keep your cool when they are angry. Also, try to be with them not only when you need them but also when they need you. Most importantly, appreciate your friends. Be a true confidant who treasures friends’ secrets in his heart. Always guide and stop them when they go astray. Don’t crib over small issues. Be understanding when your friends come up with a last minute change in plans. And if it’s you who changes the plan, learn to say sorry.
Strengthen your
FRIENDSHIP Just a few harsh words can
break your friends’ heart.
Your friends might not want to share everything with you. Understand their feelings.
Don’t be dominating or authoritative.
Never betray your friends’ trust.
Never criticise or chide your friends in public.
Never support your friends when they are wrong.
Never lie or boast before your friends.
Be there when they need you but don’t forget to respect their space.
Keeping in touch…
Howsoever far or busy you might be, always keep in touch with your friends to make them feel that they are still an important part of your life. Try the following:
Send e-mails.
Call once a week or twice. It does not take too long to connect hearts.
Keep in touch through brief messages left on answering machines or SMSs.
Send an occasional card.
Send recent snaps with your family, friends and colleagues. This will make them feel included in your happiness.
Why do friendships break?
You were best of friends and never had an argument before. Then how did the friendship break? Misunderstanding and miscommunication can separate even the closest of friends. Generally the issues are trivial, which if not resolved immediately, may result in break-ups. According to senior psychologist Madhumita Singh, “It is not that friends begin disliking each other, but after sometime the informal bond starts converting into a taken-for-granted relationship. In friendships that break, either both or one of the friends eventually becomes short-tempered, uses rough language and gives less time to the other. This communication gap creates space for misinterpretations between the two.” Over-expectations, ego clashes and competition in financial status, academic level or job, can lead to breaking of bonds.
Setting limits…
For maintaining long term friendship set certain limits. For eg a friend can never make it to the end of the month on a budget and you end up paying his bills. But this may not be a long-term solution. In friendship a balance must be maintained. Remember you are not being helpful—you are simply creating a parasite!
Your friend is someone who doesn’t hesitate before telling you your follies and is the first one to walk side by side with you, be it sorrow or fun. As a matter of fact, as the relationship keeps on strengthening, it becomes more and more delicate as well. Let’s simply make a promise never to hurt a friend!
Shilpi Shukla
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