Warm sunny cut through puffy white clouds, against a clear blue sky in July, 1993 when she moved into the spacious third
floor apartment in Lowell, Mass. Clare was thrilled to have 7 foot tall windows throughout the open 2 bedroom apartment. It seemed a good home for herself and her two year old son, Bryce James Reynolds,Jr. Heso resembled her, but he hadhisDaddy's clear,mezmerizing, blue eyes,readydimpled smile, and charm. Because he spent so much time with adults he seemed intelligent beyond his short years. Happily singing his ABC's as he helped unpack, sitting quitely in his new room at the chalk board practicing his numbers. Building tall buildings with Legos, or telling his Mom about his day at Day care.
Daycare, the word broke his
Mother's heart. It seemed unfair that someone else should be there for his milestones, someone else was teaching him rhymns & songs. Telling him the stories she repeated from the books at home. But what choice was she left with after his Father died suddenly in a car accident on his way home? The choice had been clear for her, she had to return to Full - Time at the bank, she had been working at part-time after Bryce was born. Prior to his birth she had
worked for University Bank for five years, and made lots of contacts that had offered her sideline jobs while she'd taken a year of maturnity leave from the local well known lender. It had been a fun year to spend with her new baby. Her blessed baby boy! That first year she had never worked away from home more than fifteen hours a week. Upon returning to the bank last spring, part-time she had increased her hours to 25. Still there had been plenty of time for both the men in her life.
She could have moved back to the coalmining community of Cabin Creek, West Virginia, back to the comforting arms of family. The same family that had tried to separate her and Bryce since they were in high school. His Mother had tried to separate them simply because her brother had broken up with Bryce's older brother, and her Mother had had a brief affair with Bryce's Dad. Still neither of those things were in Clare's control! She hadn't even known about her mother until Bryce's Mother told her, and a girlfriend's Mom who worked with them confirmed it. Then, there was her own family. She didn't even want to think about that family again. Bryce had understood her desire to get away; even though he made a yearly visit he never pressed her to return. He never pressed her about her family at all, after all they'd grown up together, he knew the family, knew the alcohol, the beatings, the steeling from their own, take, take, take. The only time they ever contacted Clare since she'd left on a college scholarship was when they needed money, or wanted a favor of some kind. For some reason Bryce had never understood, Clare always gave. That was until Bryce, Jr. was born, after that, she learned the word, 'no.'
For that she was deemed selfish, and no good by most of her family. Just as well, she had said to Bryce when his Mother conveyed to her what she'd heard from her own sister. Of course when Bryce died they had offered to take her in. Her one sister even mentioned she'd like to repay her for the assistance she had given in the past for her two children, Clare had considered the offer, and the source. After substantial reflection, and even a visit, that had reminded her why she'd left in the first place, she passed on the offer.
She stared at the space heater in the livingroom, and resigned to overcome her deep seeded fear of fire when autumn came, and learn to lit the thing, and keep it lit even if it met nights she went to bed hungry for lack of resources. She would barely manage on her income alone, with the cost of daycare, and other expenses. Thankfully, Bryce had enough of a Life Insurance Policy to pay for his funeral, and the loan on the 1990 Toyota Camry parked downstairs.