"My Old Man....
Said follow the van. But at one
point there was one mile of clear Road behind him! So a quick contribution of the joys of
moving house for the third time since 9-11.. Wonderful!
The Boxes were critical. First there were ten. Then there were 14. Then there seemed to be a sort of box ethos where they were copying parts of "The Sorcerer’s Apprentice" and after that it appeared that the things were attempting to be more active in here than the insects!
And the Black Bin-liners. These were starting to crop up as though they were a sort of holy water for the St. Timothy Mission. I think I was buying more rolls of them in my dreams!
Now the budget from the Social Fund was &
pound;1,200. So you deduct £650 for carpets. Then you deduct £350 for Dad’s Items and £100 for Mum’s Curtains. Then £208 for the Water Bill and £195 for the Removal Team... After that, just £80 for cigarettes and £40 for Gas.. Anyone got the calculator out? You start to see why the Incapacity people are at war with Mr. Brown!
The Carpets do deserve a mention. This is the point where the entire contents of the flat are stashed in the kitchen. At one point I was wondering whether the Bed was going to go in there or whether that should be after the Sofa and the
Bath did first? But the carpet guy was about Three times the size of me and my BMI is 31. So we just did whatever he said!
The Hoover is Wicked! It is so advanced that I am thinking it might be going to ask me
soon what part of the Flat it needs to start working on... Either that or feed it a SIM chip, maybe?
To say nothing of the
shower. The
chance to sprinkle myself with the hot water rather than just bathe in it is Electrical. It means I can add a whole new dimension to the moment when I am expecting myself to get into clean Laundry. Bring on more Shower-Bath combos! Yeah!
And the Laundry is possible because of the Washing Machine. I Still have to lumber the stuff to the Launderette for drying purposes.. But, like, my Own Washing Machine! Miracle. Even if it mysteriously turned off its own water supply that Dad had carefully switched On!
The Cooker... It has, like, 7,000 positions of cooking my pizza or nuggets and fries. It actually takes longer to find the position for Fan plus plate heat than it does to cook the Pizza! This is a device that show that electric cooking is here to stay in the world forever and ever!
And the bed is like 100 times bigger than the last one. I can literally sleep across is which was ludicrously Not the case last time. I might even soon persuade a bumpy thing of decent appearance to see if it can entirely house two bodies rather than this tired old rack of bones!
And just when you were getting to sleep you get another chance to give your opinion of the superific Housing Assoc. That allowed me this whole opportunity in the first place. I should have told him just to put "Very Satisfied" in Every box and then we could have saved time!
The Garden! My gardener is a Superstar. And he works mainly just for tobacco... Wowee!!
In the end I’ve got what I paid for... And that was a Serious Tax Rebate.. God Bless It!TN08!
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