It is an exciting yet very emotion-filled story of a 31 - year-old daughter raising a 52-year old mother begins. Her mother raised her to believe that when a young lady grows up, she is supposed to choose from her suitors before she can go out with anybody.The one you go out with is the one you end up marrying. Following her mother's life recipes , she stumbled through life, got married, found out it wasn't going to work , got an annulment and raised her child alone. Her mother was proud that she stayed with her dad through the toughest time of their life. " No amount of success can make up for failure of home, " she would always tell her daughter. Her mother went through her own stumbling motions after her father died. The life she has known was shaken , she was lost.
But a few months after , her mother's life changed because she fell in love again. And this is the greatest silent struggle in a mother -daughter relationship : When your mother starts dating again! Should you find yourself in the same situation, I'd like to share with you a few things her daughter have learned :
1.)
Support your parent : Be there for her without taking up so much space. Remember she does not owe you an explanation. Even you hate the new chapter of her life you are and will always be just her child.
2.)
Listen and take interest : Youlove your dad very much but your mom deserves to be happy. You are not excited in meeting her Prince Charming , but it is a daughter's duty, just as a mother's duty, to be polite when introductions are made.
3.)
Keep an Open Mind :
4.)
Do not give unsolicited advice: Choose your words carefully, but say it in a way that your message is clearly carried across.
5.)
Be considerate : It may feel uncomfortable , but practice maximum patience. If you can, strive to be encouraging. For me, I want to see my mother's eyes smiling again, after the sad events in her life. Prince Charming has made her want to look and feel pretty again.
6.)
Give updates on the new rules of the game : A lot has changed since she last dated. In your mom's time, she didn't have to deal with text messages ; cyber-relationships were unheard of. Explain to her the rules of the cyber-mating dance and droppd a few helpful hints to your mom.
7.)
Let them know now is the best time to be happy: Your mom is always submissive to your dad. This is the chance to reinvent herself and to reaasess whatshe truly wants for herself. In the process , she can intelligently figure out how to get it for herself.
8.)
Love them more now: Her mind is filled with apprensions and insecurities at the very scary probability of starting all over again. It will be comforting for her to know that she is not alone.
The daughter is grateful for the wisdom she has cultivated so that her mom will be happy again.It's funny how she can tell her mom that she should take it from her. It's like having a daughter. Almost again.......
Melba