VMA Apparently Stands For "Vacuous Marketing & Advertising" Posted Mon. Sep 10, 1:59 AM ET
by Lyndsey Parker in And The Winner Is...
Don''t call it a comeback. Because it wasn''t.
Yes, the big hype surrounding the 2007 Video Music Awards was the fact that Britney Spears--a woman who''d made VMA history multiple times in the past by performing with an albino snake, tongue-wrestling onstage with Madonna, and somehow inadvertently giving Michael Jackson an "Artist Of The Millennium" award--would be kicking off this year''s Vegas ceremony with a performance of her new single, "Gimme More."
More like gimme less , thank you very much.
Seriously, what the eff was that ? Worse lip-synching than SNL -era Ashlee Simpson, clodfooted and seemingly drunken "dance" moves that in no way reflected the hours of rehearsal time she''d reportedly logged at the Millennium Dance Studio, a flabby physique that looked like it''d undergone only three minutes of its prescribed 8-Minute Abs routine, utterly confused/disappointed expressions on the famous faces of spectators like 50 Cent and Chris Brown (too bad the cameras didn''t cut to Justin Timberlake''s surely priceless reaction)...honestly, Kevin Federline could have done a better job
opening the VMAs.
I mean, that performance was trainwrecky enough to make me shave my head in protest. Suffice it to say, this was one time when what happened in Vegas really ought to stay in Vegas.
So OK, Britney''s career is pretty much officially kaput (Sarah Silverman even said so in her opening monologue, and that woman''s never wrong); meanwhile, artists whose careers are still hotter than Vegas asphalt, like Kanye West, Fall Out Boy, Justin & Fiddy, and Foo Fighters, had their
completely credible, completely un-lip-synched performances pre-empted to make time for Taco Bell and Chevy ad spots. Britney got four minutes, but Kanye got like 45 seconds? Boo!!!