Thisseries of written thoughtsarose out of a desire to understand why I went to East Timor. I have since realised that a large part of the attraction was the seductive way in which reality merged with fantasy, and fantasy merged with reality, until neither could be distinguished from the other. As a result,I have soughtto creatively reorder
events, and tends to have a paradoxical effect that is both delusional and enlightening. This journey of discovery and reflection has made me realise the futility of presuming I could go to another country and objectively interpret and represent the
lives of a people when I had yet to understand myself and my own. Further complications and dilemmas arose as I found myself drawn emotionally, physically and intellectually into the lives of those I was meant to be observing. These moral entanglements inevitably skewed my judgement, producing a series of highly subjective observations, and completely invalidating any claims to objectivity I might have made. In retrospect, any initial intentions I may have once had to objectively represent the condition, heritage and aspirations of a people now appear alarmingly inadequate and overly ambitious. I have compiled a rather
fragmentary and
episodic series of facts, some perhaps more fictitiously embellished than others.These arebased on real events, real places and real people, albeit somewhat modified, slightly fabricated and frequently verging on the whimsical. This fragmentary and episodic compilation is an
attempt to avoid the homogenisation of personal stories and experiences into some sort of monotonous finality. To this end, this book consists of multiple
layers of overlapping descriptions, anecdotes, narrations, emails and
text messages that seek the surfaces of events in a manner slightly reminiscent of Foucault. The focus is on the small-scale social snapshots that capture the small details, minor shifts and subtle contours of the lives and stories of different people, both local and international, as they intermingle against the impressive backdrop of a unique and fascinating physical landscape that remains indelibly imprinted upon my senses. The many informal sessions – conversations and interactions at beaches, cafes, markets, military barracks, parties, fashion shows, bars – with various people I met, both local and international, are sporadically interspersed in an attempt to reveal how the power of lived-experience lies in our feelings and emotions. These show how the relationships upon which this story is based shift over time and from one moment to the next based on the context at hand. As each layer of text is superimposed on the others, each layer contributes to the understanding of the other layers as well as the overall picture of the social life that the story conveys. This fragmentary and episodic compilation of frequently dubious details merely seeks to reproduce and creatively reorder events in order to project a vision of life and society in East Timor at a particular point in time.
Published: November 24, 2006
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