Sex: No Interest in Sex after Baby
It has been over seven months since my son was born, and my husband and I have only been intimate two or three times. He''s losing his patience with me, and I don''t blame him. I''m having difficulty understanding whether I''ve simply lost my libido or lost the feelings altogether for my husband. I feel horrible about it. I am stressed out, between working full-time and taking care of the kids when my husband is at school at night. And I''m deathly afraid of becoming pregnant again! Should I see my OB or a therapist? I don''t see how a therapist can help. I''d appreciate any advice from a knowledgeable source before my marriage falls apart.
Well, I think you have diagnosed yourself: "I am stressed out." You work at least two full-time jobs (the one outside your home and the one raising your children), and you are afraid of becoming pregnant again. This is not a combination that lends itself to great sexual desire. You are too tired, for one thing. And you know another baby would just add to your already heavy workload -- and you know how babies are made!
You need to see both your OB-GYN and a therapist. The OB-GYN can discuss contraceptive options with you, so you will have fewer worries about an accidental pregnancy. You may want to think about an IUD or Depo-Provera or Norplant, all methods that don''t require any thought on your part. A therapist can help you find ways to cope with the demands of your life, and perhaps help you and your husband communicate better so you can understand each other better. You should also make sure that you are healing properly. Sometimes discomfort can make sexual intercourse less desirable.