Of entry of play, one could always advance the assumption
that the direction of the life is an abstract concept
invented by the man to help it to assume its existence. As
many people already did it before me, after many reflexions
on the direction of the existence, I arrive at this
conclusion that the life is absurd, that it does not have
really a smell and perhaps that it is not worth the sorrow
to be lived. Consequently I have the choice to accept it
such as it is, to assume it, or to reject it. But as I do
not have enough courage or logic to put an end to my days,
what I do make? I cannot all the same brailler on my fate
until the end of my days! Then it is necessary me to find
an alternative, a solution, by supposing of course that
such a solution can exist. To fill this existential vacuum
which is not more making safe I am appropriate about it, I
could always take refuge in religious spirituality to draw
there some elements which could give direction to my life.
But that really does not interest me, because I already
tasted with this medicine of wizard who does nothing but
maintain the illusions and the false hopes. Then perhaps
could I rise on the level of scientistic and identify me
with a piece of universal energy essential to the evolution
of the great movement of the universe? This alternative
could not be constant well a long time since it would bend
under the weight of the free examination, i.e. of my
rational thought or my critical spirit which calls all in
question, including my own personal convictions. In fact,
I regard myself as being a skeptic who agrees the benefit
of the doubt. The true benefit that I could withdraw from
this doubt is null other than the recognition of a happy
relativity of the things and world. And it is through this
universal relativity that I could assume the best possible
this perpetual doubt which accompanies me in all my
reflexions. The relative one is not for me something the
vertiginous one which is connected with the nihilism. On
the contrary, the relative aspect of the things encourages
me to look further into my thought more and to draw through
this systematic doubt of the stable elements and
reassuring "truth" or of "reality" which directly refer to
my feelings, my knowledge and my lived. While recognizing
that, for someone else, a dimension of reality can be
differently. As it is odd, even if I find the life
somewhat absurd, I am perceived however like a relatively
happy man, and who has the taste to bite in the life.
There thus exists in me a vital force which pushes me to
continue. But which is this power which makes that, even
if I consider absurd the fact of existing, I have always
the desire to continue the adventure? In my opinion, the
most relevant explanation can be only the instinct of self-
preservation specific to any species. And if this instinct
of survival did not exist, I would not be certainly there
to testify some, nor you to read me at present either. But
this instinct of survival cannot alone to generate what we
could regard as being elements which could really give
direction to our life.