Lawyer Jokes. The scene is the darkest jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through the jungle when
the one in the rear suddenly reaches out with his tongue and licks the butt of the one in front. The lead tiger turns and says, "Hey, cut it out, alright." The other tiger says sorry and they continue on their way.
After about five minutes the rear tiger suddenly repeats his action. The front tiger turns angrily and says," I said don''t do that again!" The rear tiger says "sorry" again and they continue.
After about another five minutes, the rear tiger repeats his action. The front tiger turns and says, "What is it with you, anyway? I said to stop." The rear tiger says, "I really am sorry but I just ate a
lawyer and I''m just trying to get the taste out of my mouth."
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A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you''d allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."
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Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What''s yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy,"
replied the second. "My Daddy''s an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy''s a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
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A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I''m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ''Guess who?''" "But why?" asks the man. "I''m a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
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