According to many psychologists and family therapists with experience in fraud cases, the answer is "Yes!" As long as each one willing to be honest introspection and assess partner. In addition, they also must have the ability to assess themselves in a situation that is full of turmoil; an ability that can be studied.
Also keep in mind that you are not alone in this world. Not only do you own a betrayed spouse. And not only are you screwing around. Indeed statistics vary, but according to one survey, 37 percent men and 20 percent of cheating married woman had an affair. Of course no one knows how much is certain. What is clear, people can lie to your husband / wife, would also be lying to investigators.
After Diversion, Then What?
The researchers and those who had escaped from terkaman divorce would encourage you to seek help and deal with any issues that encourage you or your spouse to engage in infidelity.
Misuse problems often reflect a much deeper - at the individual and in the marriage relationship - which becomes the stage for the abuses. Psychologist Shirley Glass told people to study subjects following problems:
1. What does it say such abuse is about the individual?
Review all personal matters, whether to feel lonely, less confident, hiperseksualitas, mid-life crisis that makes you question everything about your life - work, marriage, and your position in society. There may even be doing a family history of abuse so that an affair is a "learned behavior" and implicitly honored and supported.
For many people, diversion is an event that could change his life. Infidelity often encourages introspection and could trigger a change in the direction of a person's life. Some people finally began to "grow up" after cheating. Others say that the pain and loss that is felt after cheating forcing them to seek spiritual dimension behind their relationship.
Couples who betrayed also do some sort of self-examination. Does all this have suspected the existence of fraud? What about your confidence? How is your sexual needs? How did your family history? Life is not the same anymore for you.
2. Of diversion can be known characteristics of your relationship and your partner
What is going on and that is not happening in your marriage? Relationships are dynamic and mysterious that limits also vary. Even so, abuse is a sign that something is missing from your marriage. Marital conflict can trigger one or both parties to engage in extramarital relationships with others.
Problems in the marriage makes you vulnerable to fraud. Although such problems were not the only cause of deviations. Yet many people are unhappy marital infidelity is not even involved.
Most therapists say that infidelity is a combination of factors that ultimately culminated in the form of cheating. Although the motivations that drive may be rooted in a person's psychological needs, but "in love" out of wedlock includes a number of things that are not easily explained; except perkasus case.
Improving Trust, Giving Sorry
For many couples who decide to keep the marriage after the diversion, improving confidence is the first priority. The therapist suggests that honesty and open communication is the point to start a new round. That means they need the ability to learn new things and changing expectations about marriage becomes more realistic for both parties.
Key feature of all types of fraud, for all parties, is the dishonesty. Therefore, if you want to prevent fraud, you should already get married since the beginning of a pattern of behavior that completely honest. Attracted to others, let alone physically is normal; it's just that you must talk about your feelings with your partner. Start talking openly since the first day of marriage. And open communication must be kept running throughout the marriage.
Unfortunately, after a diversion, people exhaust the time to blame each other and understand each other rather than cure. You blame yourself. Blaming the relationship. Blaming a husband / wife. Blaming is easy. While understanding the subtleties of human nature is very difficult and takes time.
Yes, time. The people who have managed to save their marriage from infidelity to admit that they shot it took years to overcome the abuse.
We also need to re-examine our assumptions vary. Most people assume that marriage must be monogamous relationship. But the fact is, our assumption is often too far away. We think we know why the fraud to occur. We assume that the abuse only happens to people who "do not bener." We believe that our mates will always be faithful.
No special protection from fraud. No one is immune. You have to fight for your marriage. You have to fight for honesty. And it's not an easy path.
To keep in mind also, healing from abuse should not be maintaining a marriage.Because the issue is not winning or losing, but understand themselves. The goal is a life full of meaning.
Clearly not only the task of one person to prevent cheating spouse. We are all guardians of our own lives. Now, if we want to continue the marriage, we must learn to forgive - others and ourselves.