During our Sex Education class in high school, our
teacher asked us regarding our stand on
premarital sex (PMS). In my
fifteen year old mind, the results were astonishing: ONLY FIVE OUT OF
THIRTY TEENAGERS WERE AGAINST PMS.
In a Catholic-dominated society where discussion
about sex is almost a taboo, I could not reconcile the fact that some
of my peers were in favor of PMS or worse are sexually active! I
always viewed sex as an expression of
love. However, some people
claim that sex is a biological need. I agree that sex is necessary
for the perpetuation of the human race. However, unlike other
biological needs, sex transcends the physical. When God commanded the
human race to “be fruitful and multiply”, He blessed us with the
beautiful gift of sex.
To think of sex only in biological terms,
delegates man to the role of animals. When he feels the urge, he will
act on it. However, sex involves more than an itch, it requires a
sense of responsibility.
If you can’t be good, then be careful.
Most people think of sex and responsibility in
this light. Nowadays, sex has become a commodity. There is so much
hype about “safe sex” and ads on condoms are shown on TV.
However, scientific research shows that condoms have a failure rate
of 10-20% because the holes in the condoms are larger than the sperm
or STD carriers. Hence, a single error can result into pregnancy or
sexually transmitted disease (STD). In 2000, nearly 822,000
pregnancies occurred among 15-19 year olds. Furthermore, there are
approximately 18.9 million new cases of STDs per year and roughly
half of these new cases occur to 15-24 year olds. There are more
than 25 kinds of STDs, some of which are incurable.1
These statistics are not meant to scare off people
from sex. Rather, these are realities, they are consequences based on
our choices. If these realities are prevalent, does “safe sex”
really exist?
My answer is “NO”. In the next five years, we
can possibly create the “safest”
condom or the most effective
birth control method, but can we also immune a person from the
spiritual and emotional side effects of PMS?
Man is a multi-dimensional being. As he partakes
in sex, all other facets of his life are affected. Apart from an
unplanned pregnancy and the danger of STDs, engaging in PMS is a
spiritual and emotional hazard. A guy is curious about sex and
pressures his girlfriend to have sex with him; she gives in to prove
her love for him. She would become more attached to him, and he would
later withdraw because he already got what he wanted. The reality of
sex always falls short from the hype. Premature sexual involvements
usually result into broken hearts, a loss of self-esteem, destroyed
reputation,
guilt and a deep feeling of regret. Sex outside the
context of marriage also inhibits real friendships with the opposite
sex and if pregnancy is involved, it would result into setting aside
personal dreams for the sake of the child. The physical pains are the
easiest to alleviate, but the unseen scars take a lifetime to heal.
If there is so much horror and drama about sex, where is the beauty
in sex?
As a probinsyana,
I grew up in a culture which did not talk much about sex. All I knew
was that it is an embarrassment to the family if the girl got
pregnant out of wedlock. At the same time, it is encouraged by the
family for an eighteen year old boy to “become a man” which leads
him to night clubs. In high school, I learned about STDs and cringed
at the thought. This was how I learned about sex. However, it was in
college, where I began to understand sex.
In our class on Human Sexuality, my thoughts on
sex became more wholistic as I learned to appreciate what the Bible
says about “the two becoming one.”
Sex is a gift from God; it is an expression of our
love and
commitment to our spouse. Hence, sex takes on a Trinitarian
form, as it invites God into the union. Before a couple engages in
sex, they are two unique entities. Sex is an act of affirmation.
During sex, two people are naked as they reveal their wholeness,
there is an invitation to share their life together, and create a new
life. Hence, the strength and weakness of the woman is accepted by
her husband, as she accepts his totality. The wholeness of the two
creates a new one, a new life, a baby who inherits traits from his
father and mother.
This is the true beauty of marital sex. Sex that
celebrates love, life, and commitment is beautiful and
responsible.
1
From the Pure Intimacy Website
More abstracts about the The Beauty of Sex