My
Writing Wrecks
Rajesh Bhat
Curse is on me…. Why
doesn’t hell befall me that while in the profession of writing for the last about 20 years, I still commit grave mistakes and at the same time desire that my write-
ups be read by all and sundry?!
I should have drowned in the proverbial `` Challu Bhar Paani” for continuing to commit such trivial mistakes in my write-ups----hardly unaware of when to `sink’ and when to `drown’.
Why don’t I get ashamed for such blunders which I continue day in and day out and at the same time expect that, except me,
readers should accept me as a senior writer in the profession?…an old war horse?... who most of the times gets confused in `expect, accept and except’ !.
What a pity that when I have to `` affect’’ the changes in my write-ups, I affect them with ``effect”. ---- and wish that people should ``facilitate ‘’ me and `` felicitate’’ the exit of my counterparts in the field of writing….
Joking it is that I still am just not aware of difference between ``just’’ and` ``jest’’, ``hardy’’ and `` hardly” and series of such words when I make ``savants’’ the ``servants’’of my ``exclusive’’ write-ups! And when someone points out my blunders , I blame proof readers or ``printer’s devil’’ for smashing my great writing ` skulls’’…… sorry skills. Curse is on me….
Why doesn’t the rouge in me die, who is innocently ignorant of difference between ``Vague’’ and ``Vogue” or ``
Smile” and `` Simile”…… How I smile so awkwardly, concealing my dirty teeth when I use a metaphor for a simile! Curse is on me.. I don’t deserve any smile for my laughing –stock
writings .
Do I deserve any `` kudos’’ when I use this
word in plural form or shall I be patted when I often use ``often’’ as `` oftenly”. Or am I worth calling a writer when I
``burn” the traditional lamp instead of lighting it while reporting any inauguration ceremony. Why doesn’t a ``lightning’’ strike my writings when I switch on my `intellect’ to say that many cattle heads were killed due to `` lighting”. And I have the temerity to pray to God to lead me from darkness to light!
I continue to do such things with impunity taking my foolish… err.. esteemed readers for granted. They for the reasons best known to them continue to shower their love and affection on me. Hah….
Am I fit for any special treatment while commenting on Indo-Pak ties and get confused who is former and who is ( later) latter……. Curse is on me that my ``tampers’’ run high if someone ``tempers” with my original copy for the correction. Curse on my writings that I am still caught up in ``In Campus and `` On Campus” and ``In Chair and On Chair” writing controversies.
See a crook in me that I deem it below my dignity and honour to consult any dictionary worth its salt…. For I know consulting this huge book is an art.. To overcome my weakness of poor spellings and vocabulary, I recently found a way out…. A short cut to end my plight.
After Thesaurus and Word Power guides failed to end my chronic writing problems, I recently purchased a computer programmed with up-to-date English dictionary with antonyms and synonyms and all the rest of them. But to my dismay, when I propose to my personal computer, it disposes and when I dispose, it proposes…. `` What is this ?”.
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