The Perfect Guest
Accepts or refuses, without hemming and hawing, after checking out the date, time and dress.
Does not ask who else will be there unless she needs a lift.
Tries not to break engagements lightly without adequate reason, and only in the most polite manner.
Doesn’t have to be a grass widow if her husband is out of town, provided he does not mind.
Arrives punctually.
Doesn’t overdress or underdress, wears what she would at an informal party given at the same time.
Does not take an inordinately long time to order by reading the menu from start to finish, but makes up her mind in advance more or less about what she wants to eat.
Watches what other people are doing and imitates them, in case she doesn’t know what to do with the range of cutlery in front of her.
Can refuse wine or soft drinks, but doesn’t refuse several items of food.
Keeps her hand still when not eating.
Doesn’t sit with elbows propped on the table, draw diagrams on the table clothe with the prongs of her fork, till her chair, click her cutlery or crumble her bread.
Doesn’t criticise the alcohol and food.
Doesn’t eat hurriedly, too slowly, noisily or with her mouth open.
Starts no painful discussions, is not glum or argumentative. Looks as though she is having a good time even if she is not.
Tries to entertain the people next to her, even though they are not such as she would have selected to sit with.
Passes around condiments and bread and butter when necessary.
Takes only as much as she can eat, so as not to leave a messy plate behind. Second helpings are always offered.
Talks in a language that everyone can understand.
Doesn’t talk to her own sex in a mixed party.
Speaks in a natural low tone of voice. Loud laughter and talking are signs of ill manners.
Does not smoke until the meal is over and only after taking the
hostess’ permission.
Doesn’t bring
flowers to the restaurant but calls her hostess or sends flowers or a thank you note the next day.