Boarding blues By Manmit
Boarding schools which have a long term tradition in India cater to the needs of many families. Most of the bordings are in the peaceful environment of hill stations like ooty, panchgani ,mussorie, shimla etc .
There are also advantages and disadvantages attached to everything .On one hand these schools provide enhanced educational and social opportunities and chance for students to develop maturity and independence outside family structure while on the other hand there is a loss of contact and family support structure is missing. some children thrive in
good bording schools and some suffer and
parents feel the most .There is a pain of seperation the child misses the parents, his siblings, the homely atmosphere, the love and affection that is need ed at the most by the child is missing in these schools. Some children feel it so badly that they carry it all ther lives . Sumesh {not his real name}was sent to bording at the age of 8 but he was so l the child lonely there and the pain of seperation was so much that now when he is going to build his carrier he hesitates in going to the hostle . There are many children like sumesh who have suffered in the boarding schools. Another child who was sent to boarding at 10 says” I had to suffer at the hands of fellow students .They used to steal my eatables, wear my new clothes, humiliate me in front of others and I couldn’t complain to my superintendent fearing they will harrass me more. I couldn’t go back to my home as my parents wanted me to stay at the boarding. As far as parents are concerned they have mixed feelings .Some feel
boardings are good and some feel the opposite. Some parents are of the view that boardings are best place to make a child achieve good education, they learn discipline and become self dependent. But some feel that the children need the parents especially the mother the most at the growing age .A parent an army officer who had to send his child to boarding for the
problem of not getting a family station on the condition of anonymity told that” my child couldn’t adjust to the changed environment he was a victim to the bossiness of his seniorsand I had to bring him back. Another parent kuldeep kaur from village threeke near ludhiana who had send her child to boarding for not having good education facility in the village says” my son succumbed to the pressure of his seniors and acquired bad habits like smoking and drinking but I came to know in time and his life was saved .. There are parents like rajesh whose child has gained a lot at the boardingsays he “ since yrs he has been in the boarding and according to him he has gained self confidence and is a disciplined child which he wouldn’t have achieved at home
says he I agree some children suffer at the boardings as every child is not the same when contacted Dr krishnanand a clinical psychologist at C.M.C&H said “I get many cases of child harassment in the boardings and I attributes it to the lack of rapport between child and parent . He says when ever the child has any problem he should bring it to the notice of the parents so that something can be done in time. unfortunately , I get cases in which the parents themselves are not compatible with each other when he goes to his parents they wont listen to him .Another type of problem faced by the child is feelingof rejection. The child starts thinking that my parents have send me to the boarding because they cant take up my responsibility .H e suggests to ward off such feelings in a child the parents should in the beginning contact the child frequently so that the child does not feel lonely and adjusts to the atmosphere .Whenever the child comes home the parents should spend more time with him so that he has the feeling that he is missed by them they should discuss with him the things of his and their interests so that he feels that he is wanted in the house and his opinions are appreciated and important to the parents. Parents shouldalso keep a guardian for the child so that the child can go to him when he has problem says the psycologist main problem occurs when a child is a introvert such children are sensitive and seldom open their hearts to anyone they have few friends the resentment and anger gets bottled up and they develop physical disorders like insomnia ,chest pain, headache, feeling of rejection etc. Says he the best way to take out the anger of the child is that he develops some hobby of writing poems, playing games. These kind of children should not be punished as they become aggressive and indulge in mischief He says the theory of punishing the child to improve him has failed. According to him love and affection is the only way to change the behavior of the child.. Another method is reward when he does something good and the result being he repeats the good acts.
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