Hatzofe
Who is the common Israeli? A common Israeli would book a hotel in Jerusalem and complain at the reception that there's no view of the ocean from the window. A common Israeli walks down the street, alongside people who served with him in the army. He
gets a menu written in Hebrew at restaurants, hearing the waiter
calling you "bro" and by that, knowing you are in India. He would call 144 (phones lookup by calling an
operator, M.G ) and
ask for the number of Izik Cohen from Rehovot, and when the operator would ask "Which one?" He would reply "the curly one". Only a common Israeli would clap his hands coming back to Israel, whilst can't wait to get out of it again. He just made "
aaliya" from Russia, married someone who made "aaliya" from Morocco, and names his daughter "Coral", because of the minimal chance that she might grow up in America. He deeps in the Kinneret and doesn't get wet even if he stands in the middle of it. He would also go into the drugstore asking for something confidentially, suddenly seeing the pharmacist shouting: "Hagit, where did we put the hemorrhoid lotion?" He would see a sign saying "
Fresh Paint", touching the painted surface, and noting: "it really is fresh". He would work as a Pizza delivery guy, and afterwards would write in his resume that he worked as a "Vice president of marketing and distribution for a large food network". He would
buy cups of some dairy product in a total cost of a thousand NIS to get a 20 NIS worth pouch. He would buy Giorgio Armani with only 29 NIS and would act offended, upon revealing that he bought a forgery. He would post a "Inspector, I'm loading merchandise" on a scooter. He would start honking his horn as soon as the traffic light would turn yellow. A common Israeli's Diet is one in which everyone else around him gets fat.
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