Make Time for Your Friends
Most of us
today are very, very busy.
Many of us are
trying to juggle a lot of different responsibilities. We are working, tring to run a household and spend some time with our partner. Some of us have kids or aging parents who take up more and more of our time.
One way that many of us try to cope with this overload is that we try to juggle doing two or three things at once.
While we are at work, we may be trying to get caught up with our friends and families with emails and phone calls. And when we are with our friends and family, our minds are often elsewhere, as we''''re also trying to get caught up on our other emails and text messages, and checking in at the office. We may be talking to one person in front of us while emailing another.
Many of us are very proud of how many things we seem to be able to do at one time, without realizing that we are not
fully present for any of them.
Many of us are not fully present at our jobs and we’re not fully present with our families and friends. Instead we are often in a kind of trance induced by the fact we are trying to be everywhere at once. We can use our busyness to distance ourselves from close human contact.
And all our modern technology such as email, cell phones, and text messaging and tiny music players and portable videos seem to distract our
attention from the present moment more and more.
Even though all the new technological toys we have today were supposed to free up our time and make us more connected, they can have an opposite effect.
If we''''re trying to check our emails and messages while we are with our friends and families, we''''re distracted from being present in the relationship.
Many of us are used to not just multi-tasking with our jobs, but also with our friends. Why give our attention to the person in front of us, when there might be a message on our computer at the same time?
How often have you been speaking to a friend on the telephone, and heard the clacking of typewriter keys in the background? Your friend may be typing up email messages to someone else at the same time he or she is talking to you. So you’re not getting his full attention, and neither is the other person.
A better, more exciting offer might come in any minute, on our cell phone, or in our email.
Our attention is never
really where we are. Our mind is split. We’re never really committed to working when we are at work, and when we''''re with our friends and loved ones, we''''re never really present with the people we care about, because someone else is on the line. Or something else is on our mind.
When was the last time you were with someone who really paid a lot of close, personal attention to you? That made you feel like you might be a valuable human being?
How rare is that today?
When was the last time you paid close personal attention to someone else? Made them feel really valued because you gave them the gift of yourself?
When we spend time with the people who truly love us and accept us, we have a chance to let go of our false roles.
We can feel emotionally and spiritually recharged by spending time together with others. We can feel more accepted and relaxed when we are surrounded by those who care about us. We don''''t need to be on the go all the time, and we don''''t need to be always putting on a front or keeping others at a distance.
But for our relationships to have a beneficial, healing effect, we have to be fully present with people who are also fully present with us.
How many people today, living modern, busy lives, make thier relationships such a priority that they are actually fully present and paying attention?
How many people make it a priority to be really present with their loved ones, instead of jus
More reviews about the The Guardian