I read all 88 pages of the New York Post and I saw not one solution to the proxy war in the not so
holy 'holy land'. I thought
maybe we could get the people fighting to turn their attention to a rich cheating husband or the victory of our favorite filled with emotions golf star. This idea needed promotion so I put it on the front and back page but to no avail. What if the enemies in the ‘holy land' scoffed at overpaid grown men playing children games, no not Wall Street global monopoly, but the Yankees and our newly beloved Mets. For whatever the reason, the season, or the treason, we New Yorkers love us some winners and I am as guilty as the mafia cops Eppolito and Caracappa. Maybe the people who are at war could learn to be critics instead of bombers, would it work like world cup soccer stopping a civil war in West Africa?
Better still how about selling movie star accessories online or becoming a real estate bully to convert space into expensive condos. A buck is a buck and if you look at the fall line-up, product placements will be the only thing worth watching between updates of ancient foes claiming sand in the name of I do not completely understand what.
If you want to stop the violence in the Middle East, New Yorkers must go out and buy the former mayor's watch title Oval Rudy. It will support his campaign and it makes a much better gift than a picture our Senator in the paper. While you are out spending, check out the new high rises in Brooklyn, remember
location, location, location. I can hear the future terrorist planning how to taken them down in 2015, that is unless Gingrich wins the oval prize and the final crusade begins before Republican spending ruins what is left of our economy. Fear not for our economy I read that the next superhero is on the press, the Wall Street Journal has a 'how to' finance mag wising us up so we can all be as rich as Buffett and donate to our local charities guilt free and tax free.
As I continued reading and wondering who is guilty for the double security at the WTC site, I asked myself who really cares about the people presently suffering from the illnesses as a result of their heroic actions responding to the emergency? You can bet your last bagel it is not the software company contracted for $1.3 million dollars to provide
directions to
subway patrons. I mean if we are going to increase security in our subways why can't the people who are lost
ask a friendly officer or soldier carrying an M16? Will this be another labor dispute or violation of another unknown ordinance resulting in a summer halt of services? I mean surely if our best trained officers can kill a pit bull with 26 shots and shoot each other, then they can ask least provide directions to the best pizza slice in the Big Apple. Maybe I am asking too much, like maybe I am asking Oprah to come out the closet, or for North Korean leader to say I am sorry to Japan, or for Saddam to eat his vegetables, or for Con Ed to stop confusing Queens with Central Harlem and turn those poor people's juice back on. I believe someone has to make these request known or we will have more police officers shooting at the door of their girlfriends while her two daughters are inside crying.
So if these words sound weird, they are, but the truth has never been known to be an easy pill to digest. Today I could not complete the easy Su Doku puzzle due to the fighting in the Middle East, let alone face the crossword section. This is truly the price of war when all your life pleasures are relegated to the back of the subway in Queens with no electricity. My horror-scope tells me to beg and to not feel sore about poverty because I am in the majority at last. I cannot even check out the Pirate movie and learn how to honestly steal to make a living due to the conflict, more violence. Nearing depression I skip the classified ads and think about taking my last twenty to the nearest OTB. Life is a long shot anyhow so wt bet on the WNBA Liberty team to win their next ten in a row? If I win I can afford the 2006 Hummer with a lease for $200 a month and I can drive it 19 miles from the place of purchase on the one gallon of gas I can afford. If all else fails I can pretend to be Landis and chance riding a bike around New York City, if I am not knock out like Gatti then I can make it home and enjoy other people's pain during their public divorce interventions. Better still I can just whisper to my neighbor's pit bull and act like I am training her to bark on command, please do not try this at home kids.
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