.
She found out in the time-honoured way; she picked up the telephone extension. At first, she refused to believe
her ears. But then it was her husband''s voice and he was telling his paramour how much he enjoyed making love to her. Disbelief gave way to shock and then to hurt and then to anger.
"What have I done that my husband should be unfaithful? Haven''t I always kept a nice clean home and seen to it that his meals and his clothes are ready on time? Why then should he go to another woman?" thought Nilika to herself.
She anxiously dialed "Sri Lanka Sumithrayo"(telephone 2692909), a branch of "Befrienders'' International" for a free and confidential befriending. She went for befriending and learned that there was more to a marriage than keeping the house clean. She had never thought much about sex and now she realized that that was probably what was lacking in her marriage. But she balked "How can I let him touch me when I know that he is touching another woman with love?" she asked. But then she realized that the alternative was to break up her marriage and go through the lonely road to divorce.
Nilika was determined not to break up her marriage and she invested in a black lace bra and panty to try and win back her husband. She prayed to the God she believed in to give her the strength to seduce her husband and not to recoil when he touched her.
That evening, she cooked a special dinner of roast pork and parsley potatoes. After dinner, she played romantic ballads and asked her husband Asitha to dance with her. Bemused, Asitha obliged. Then she whispered softly in his ear, "Let''s make love."
Nilika showed up in their bedroom wearing a see-through negligee and the black lace. Asitha was thrilled. Nilika confessed that she did not know much about sex and asked him to show her how to make love to satisfy them both.
The next day, Asitha was attentive to her and Nilika felt that she was winning him back again. She decided that she would confront him about his love affair. But she hesitated. Was she making a mistake by reproaching him for unfaithfulness just when both of them seemed to be hitting it off so well? She decided to postpone the confrontation and concentrated on cooking nice food for him and seducing him in the bedroom.
Nilika is among the lucky wives who have been able to win back their husbands. What of the hundreds of other wives whose husbands have gone astray? Tears, reproaches just don''t seem to help for the husband may be suffering from male menopause and be enjoying a last fling before hitting old age.
Infidelity can cause havoc inside the home for the wife feels cheated and the husband feels guilty. Their ideals are shattered and both decide to take stock of their marriage. The words "Divorce" or "Separation" hang in the air and children may be asked to take sides. Usually, the husband as the culprit is ostracized and the woman feels a virtuous sense of "He has done me wrong." Most husbands feel guilty at hurting their wives but they just cannot stop themselves from continuing to enjoy forbidden fruit.
"After all, everybody''s doing it." is a common excuse for adultery. This seems to be true given the modern permissive society where office romances flourish and if you have it, you flaunt it. Temptation is everywhere and an affair can be a boost to the ego of an insecure man.
Most couples in Sri Lanka have married with little knowledge of the partner and that is why they are unable to handle temptation when it comes their way. It is important to boost the ego of a husband and make him feel good and worthwhile inside to stop him going to another woman.
Today, thanks to "Women''s Liberation" most women try to show that they can do everything without the aid of a man and that is why men feel left out. It is important to make a man feel wanted and not just in the bedroom. Let him help with the children and the householhis help and show that it will remain undone if he doesn''t do it.
Even after an affair, it is possible to have a happy and stable marriage provided both parties are willing to work at the partnership. Find out where you went wrong and try to remedy the faults on both sides.
Remember that it is worth risking everything to make your marriage work so good luck and take care…
Published: October 01, 2007
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