The sky becomes darker and darker above me. Fear gets to the deepest space of my heart. I do not know what to think about
anymore. Thoughts that burn my heart are hunting me further and further...
A drying lack of self confidence takes over my heart. I am saddened but dare not to speak. I feel emptiness in feelings. I have a hard time understanding myself. No sentiment towards anyone. I do not want to be understood. I do not understand myself anyway. I have a hard time understanding why am I in such a state. I have forgotten all my sad memories. Not knowing whether or not I am trying to escape this suffocating prison. I am scared, scared and scared. Blocked in between the walls of my pain, of all my shedded tears, of my confusions, my weaknesses and all those words that set me in the darkness and in the silence.
I sit with all my questions, my fears, my soul aches. I scream from the bottom of my heart. I search for something, a word of hope, that would cause a change in my life. I am searching for what I do not have. I fill in the pages of my sad life. What am I feeling? It seems easier to help others than help ourselves at this
specific instant.
It''s at this specific instant that my angel cut-in. My angel broke all these heavy chaines that I carried. My angel is comforting me. My angel is taking care of mending my wounds. My angel knows everything about my past and my personality. Thus I always thinking about that sentence when I''m aching "If something has to be it''s up to you". If we seek a bit of sunshie in our life, we have to address the sun then. Because our happiness relies on the way we look at things that hurt us, to become a happy person.