Today’s life is full of stresses. And as you want to be good parent, you dream of having a good prenatal relationship
with your tonnage son or daughter. You also wish to help them with their
problems and uncertainties.
But your efforts do not produce an tangible result. There are times when you feel you are each from different planets. There is often stony silence between you and your kid. You think what is wrong with him or her.
It is that you do not understand each other well. Well as
parents you do not understand the problems a teen is facing. He/she is facing a host of biological, psychological and emotional problems you are not aware of. Then there is the pressure from the school or college and the anxieties of the future.
Parents do not understand the growing independence the teens exhibit. They feel they are more and more capable of making their own decisions. Yes, you may want to give them more freedom but you also feel that it is a dangerous world out there and you want to protect them from it. Your love and protective instinct is misinterpreted or misunderstood by him or her.
Having leant to distrust you thus, they turn to another teen when they face with a problem. This compounds the problem as they both agree that you do not understand him or her. . When teens try to share their insecurity and fears the parent feel they are immature or unready to face the world and hence they try to protect more…
Sometimes, the teens try to gain the parental trust and appreciation by presenting only the better side of things.
All these make the parent teen communication difficult and harder to accomplish. If parents are willing to explain patiently why they are not willing to give them more freedom, they may listen, however reluctantly it may be, and thus a communication channel may be opened. Let them know that you are with him/her in their worries and problems. Tolerate their mistakes and give unconditional love. When teens show good judgment appreciate it. Slowly you will earn his or her trust. Sometimes there may be only shouting, tears and anger. Then it is time to take professional help.