Insights of a Quiet Mind
What
a paradox when you''ve just posted in your shout box that all you wish
are joy and abundance in your doorstep. Fate must have had the better
of me for giving me a painful kick, thus making me tremble and whimper
like a cat. How ironic life is.
Months ago, I was in
a terrible state of not being able to lift a finger on anything - be it
a task, a thing that used to interest me, or just simply anything that
was part of my day-to-day way of life. Going to work robbed off my
interest, my faithful clutch on reading and writing, or even music and
piano, sports and the outdoor, the company of my friends. I was like a
fetus crumpling myself in my innerness. I asked people around, could it
be a midlife crisis? Heck, so early, they were thinking. No it wasn''t.
It was a malady that inflicts the psyche of a human being thereby
halting him to function normally. Depression.
But I was strong, you
see. I repaired myself having known my own diagnosis. One thing
important about depression is that it is only yourself who can dose it
off, given your will and persistence to fight it off. And I did. I was
able to. Hooraaay! I was successful.
The New Me
Ha-ha! I''m so excited
about life. I love my job more, I love intellectualizing in the
classroom, I like indulging in intellectual discourses with James
Mesina, I am inspired in front of the computer with new downloaded
pictures for my lessons, I welcome the challenge of posing in the panel
of reactors in a forum, I love hanging around with the good company of
my friends, indulging ourselves in two or three bottles of San Mig
light over a tête-à-tête, I love being with Athena... Oh, life is
tremendously fun.
Once in a while you
face battles, but who don''t? Know what, what is so interesting about
the human battle is that it gives me new learning, and perhaps, a new
perspective, which we sometimes call a paradigm shift. Best of all, it
makes us nearer to our Creator.
I don''t want to
commit the common mistake of people on ambition, that by thinking so
hard about the future, they forget the present and live in neither the
future nor the present. Instead, I live in the present and anticipate
the future.
One good discovery I
have in myself is that however hard it was for me to lift a finger on a
task during my depression, it is as easy now to do a job which for
others is difficult and impossible. Yes, I am able to move mountains
with the skill my Creator bestowed me. Also, the reason why I had to
experience an unhappy childhood is because that is the only way for me
to lead young people towards repair of a damaged self-esteem. What a
mission. Unfolded only through my own life experiences.
Hence, to wish for
joy and abundance in one''s doorstep is good, but a new insight engulfs
me: It is only through thirst where one is able to appreciate the taste
of water in his lips, just as it is only through sufferings that one
could appreciate joy and abundance in their ultimate purpose.