Sometimes I just wonder,
contemplate, think, ask myself....what am I scared of?
What are the things most people
that scare most people? Things most others dread?
Am I afraid of death?.....Not really!!
Am I afraid of not performing well
in academics?.....No!!
Am I afraid of being disowned by my family?.....No
Am I afraid of losing my friends, or a person I may deeply love.......? Well
not exactly!!
Then what am I afraid of? Or is it necessary to be afraid at all??
Is it ok if I am not fearful?
I don’t really seem to know.
What I do know is,
fear is everyday, Fear is mundane,
Fear is lack of understanding and Fear is void of complete knowledge.
A void that is so vast so ingrained
in our being that we seem to be a part of it rather than it being a part of us.
Fear is essential, essential to
inculcate discipline in Self. A Self that has not accurately known it''s own
potential, its own power.......which tends to overestimate things and
underestimate itself.
A Self that is ignorant, ignorant and therefore dependent on other people and
other things to be told, “You need to be a certain way, act a certain way,
because I am mightier and I know better of you, than u. That’s why you need to
be the way I tell u to be or else....."
What is the concluding part to the ''or else...''? Does there even exist an else,
or just fear coupled with ignorance is capable of maintaining it''s solemn
authority to not answer the else part.......thats if there exists any!!
So am I fearless because I know myself better than the rest of the world?
Or am I just so impossibly arrogant to listen to anything else?
What worries me the most is that I don’t worry anymore.
This in itself is a paradox.........leaving me yet again to wonder....
Do I worry at all!!!????