The family is not as sacred as it was in
the past. Children, who have actually experienced separation or divorce,
especially if there is joint custody, may
feel they belong nowhere. External
events are only one factor in promoting stress.
Children have their own
personalities and their own tolerance from stress. Some have little patient for
change, while others roll with the punches. Most
parents have a pretty good
idea where their
Child stands on the
stress spectrum. Perception also changes
with development. How much stress a child should be asked to tolerate depends
very much on the age and stage of the child. Neighborhoods in many areas of the
different countries are not as safe as they once were, and strangers take on an
evil cast as the news bombards us with tales of abduction. The society we live
in contributes to things being much more stressful.
Parents need to appraise their own
tolerance for stress because so often children will take their clues from a
parent or other relative. “Children are very perceptive and can pick up our
anxiety. Stress is a part of living, and the task of parents is to teach
children how to live with mitigate stress, as well as how to use stress advantageously.
But exposure to stress must be introduced slowly and wisely. It’s okay for
children to feel a little tense and feel the feeling of sadness. But when
stress comes out of the blue, the signs can be different to read. Some children
react with tantrums, negative outbursts and defiance, which can represent more
than just oppositional behavior. A child dealing with a bully may be
excessively irritable before setting out for school. Some, especially anxious
children will feel sick after seeing a traumatic news story on television. Some
children who are more affected by stress are described as nervous and high
strung. Others may be very clingy in new situations, shy or afraid of trying
new experiences. Parents have to develop creative ways of reducing stress, not
by isolating the child but by discussions and preparation on a daily basis.
Chronic stress arising from events within the home so outside organizations can
be helpful.
Even when a child is young, we should
never forget the power of prayer. Knowing that a loving God cares for us, and
talking to God thorough
prayer cab be very reassuring to a child. Prayer is a
way of reduction
anxiety that, when it becomes a part of a child’s response to
stress, can last a lifetime.
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