Generally men are regarded as unemotional and insensitive by women. However, women who would have sailed into the depth of the nature of men wouldn’t deny the fact that men also are as much emotional as they (women) themselves are. The articles “Big Boys Don’t Cry” is a gimps into the real world of men’s behaviors.
Since long times emotions are being associated only to women and it is regarded as the female-exclusive trait. However, the real fact is not, as how generally people feel about it. If people have a close look on the way men behave then, it would be obvious to know that, in many cases men are first to show their feelings. However, the point is as complex to men themselves as it is to women.
In recently held surveys and analysis it has been found that men’s emotional intelligence were as high as that of women and men had shown their emotional awareness as that of their partners/wives. Particularly while offering emotional supports to their life-partners/wives.
Although, both men and women express their emotions through showing sighs, cries, shouts and rejoicing happy moments, however, their reacts differently in such occasion. According to psychologist Josh Colman, testosterone dampens the men’s feelings by making them to intellectualize it, while on the other hand women are proven to be touchy with feelings.
Inside the Male Brain
A businessman was living a happy married life along with the things thing for what he had desired for including a beautiful wife and two kids. Suddenly, all his happiness turned into nightmare as soon as he got admitted into a hospital after being diagnosed with appendicitis and his marriage fell apart. The simple reason for all this occurrence was that he had not any idea about expressing his feelings, which made his life miserable and brought bitterness in it, which ended-up with separation.
According to him, he might have saved his happy married life from being getting spoiled, if he had earlier aware of the necessity of expressing one’s feelings. He says that divorce, which typically more devastating for men than women, forced him to explode his emotions and later after a long period of ten years he remarried on his own, and is now living a happy married life.
The Crying Game
Some time men also compelled to show emotions. Robert Westover, 41, from a family of military background was amazed to see his father cry, when he (Robert) was graduated from the same institution from where his father and grand father had graduated. This was a shocking experience, as according to him, the expression of emotions was a no-can-do among men. Since, growing up in a military family he had learned to be rough and tough and guarding his emotions.
Boys learn the lesson of controlling their emotions at early. Since both father and mother talk less about the emotions (except anger) with their son than daughter. Consequently, boy’s vocabulary gets fewer emotional words than that of girls’.
Unlike women who want to draws the attention to them and to clear their minds use more and more words, men uses fewer and thus they become safe. Men always think before they utter word and safeguard themselves from humiliating others, while women kept talking.
Let’s try to know what lurks the human minds? It is none but the variability!
Most men are much securing than they admit to it. And they feel themselves lacking from courage and competence. In order to hide the weakness they opt tot remain silent.
Now, with the emergence of equality among the sexes, causing the gender roles and rules loosens some men have dubbed Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAGs) and started to who their emotions.
Why Men Explodes:
It is well known fact that women also get angry, but the rage is the exclusive characteristic of man. The main reason for men’s getting explodes is their frustrations. When they get frustrated they explode. However, when a man feels himself powerless, which generally starts at the last stage of one‘s life then he seldom hides his emotions and started to show it without any fear.
Tips for Guys:
Men can be expressive without much tear or fear:
• Good hobbies can tap man’s soul, as world’s greatest arts and created by the emotionally challenged sex i.e. men.
• Release anger and stress through exercises.
• Try expressing a little emotion, rather than being fully emotional, as it can maintain balance in your minds and soul.
• Rather than fully avoiding emotions, train your mind to handle it.
Women Be Aware:
• Try to create the feelings of being safe into the minds of men.
• Talk side by side rather than face to face to make them feel safe.
• Physical touch may bring man’s defense down, and he may express his feelings, however, forcing men to talk or walk me brings bad consequence.
• Never, force men to talk about his bad experience of as men never like to recall their bad experience.
• Show your feelings to men rather than expressing it, as men prefers the language of physical touch rather than feelings.
• Try to let the men know the support that they know. If they feel comfortable and safe then they will definitely express their feelings.
• Express your deep feeling as how proud you are for getting him as your hubby.