Should parents pressurize children for scoring high?
The whole world is operating under pressures. May it be a country, Govt., community, family or an individual?
And how children can get spared ? After all they represent us, we the people disseminate our wishes and whims and they inherit, own and endeavor to perform.
The ones, who carry the pressure supportingly, take the pressure as challenge to be met-they participate in the race to win.
And some who resist pressure either rebel or choose their own way. They are the real masters of themselves.
Ultimately what is being counted is who could deliver, who could score higher?
Some are capable to sustain the pressure and call for more and more. Probably they have been seasoned and operating without pressure will not drive them. Obviously they are not self driven, though capable. Their own motivation /self motivation is poor and they need to be worked upon by exercising pressure. You leave them without pressure, and see the results. They will be galloping minus in their performance. So the objective gets defeated. If the child will not score high, his chances of competing for prestigious way of life are bleak, unless he is learning. becoming wiser by not scoring.
Is it the only route that you pressurize and get the higher score? Surely not, but a well tried and fairly good results have been achieved by exerting pressure in all the matters, why only scoring high. Parents represent a a mix of X theory and Y theory practitioners, and 70 percent though may be wishing, that self drive is the best, but themselves practice pressurizing and obtain the desired results.
Our elders tell what they studied in 5th standard, is being taught to nursery, upper kg kids.Naturally,kids are able to withstand that kind of extra load of knowledge, pressure of building intelligence.
More you subject the children to more pressure and learning, they are responding perfectly.Maturity is creeping in with speed as you are seeding in.
There is no doubt the capability exists to learn more and more. Self driven are exceptions and can not become a thumb rule. Again Why should parents exercise pressure on children for scoring high? Parents normally assert saying that, it is for the benefit of children, their future and high standard of life—we are again and again reminding them, knocking them, scolding, beating, and creating pressure directly or indirectly so that they perform. So ultimately it is in their interest, not ours. We have done labour and achieved, or not done so are suffering.
It is our wish that these children don’t feel short of resources simply because they did not score high. The argument is well taken, the spirit is appreciated, but I am not prepared to be driven that way.
It is my life. May I MAKE IT OR RUIN IT. How are they concern? is the most common reply flowing from delinquents.Can they be applauded? No – surely not.
But we need to understand the mechanism, the behaviour change or the pattern which is emerging from such children.Are they really defaulters, or are result of pressures exercised directly or indirectly. Mostly can be attributed to indiscriminating use of theory X.Some children mature faster than the studies or the course requirement, direction may be different. Scoring high may not be their motivation. Instead their understanding in certain areas may be a natural phenomenon which may not lead to high scoring. But if pressurized, their getting frustrated, not becoming able to coordinate their own requirement of knowledge to that of school or parents----is not abnormal. Some parents realize this happening, witness the development happening, but are not able to tune themselves up and instead continue hammering ritual of expectation of high scoring and the deadly communication of reminders. Somewhere it might work and mostly it does. Parents are part of that total environment. What needs to be done in such cases- continues to be matter of Research and studies of children behaviour. But maintaining sensitivities, grasping the need of children are essential elements than straight a way adopting the ritual of building pressures for scoring high. Ultimate objective of growth and development can not be ignored and to see and ensure how best that can happen, judgement, wisdom of judgment needs to be practiced. Somewhere stick is all right, when it is called for, warranted, somewhere need for self motivation will have to be cultivated. The results can be surprisingly wonderful if parents themselves are sensitive, observing, witnessing the changes happening when you are pressurizing and using this tool skillfully with motivation. Expose the children to all dimensions of life, blending inputs of right and wrong with reasoning and rationale coupled with your committed way of life, need for pressurizing will be reduced and children will be able to take their own decisions. And that is what is largely a Parents wish.