Troubling
teens Zits, breasts, and a whole new body shape are just some of the challenges confronting
teenagers as they attempt to come to terms with a whole new self.
Many parents fear the onset of adolescence (age 11 for girls and 13 for boys), in part stimulated by the media, according to Psychiatrist Dr Edward M Hallowell, who authored The Childhood Root of Adult Happiness (Ballantine Books).
A little understanding goes a long way. With a bit of insight into this transitional stage, you will have a lot more empathy for your teen child. Teens’ moods are mere manifestations of the raging hormones coursing through their young bodies as they take on an
early approach to maturity. Having lived blissfully body-unaware before, now appearance is a full time obsession.
While hormones are surging the speed of
brain growth is premium, rivaled only by early childhood brain development, so it’s really an exciting time. Dr Jay Giedd, a US neuroscientist, who has studied the adolescent brain suggests that although 90 percent of brain
development takes place before the
age of six, a second wave of development begins during puberty and ends in the early 20s. The brain matures at around age 25.
Knowing this may lessen the ever-exasperating reactions to your teenager’s seemingly impossible behaviour. Prioritising thoughts and controlling impulses is the job of the prefrontal cortex, an area underdeveloped in teenagers. As a result they do not have the capacity to think about the consequences of their actions.
Sleeping habits too, are affected by brain development. The production of melatonin which establishes sleeping and waking patterns takes longer to reach sleep inducing levels in teenagers than it does in
adults or young kids. But because they are growing they need much more sleep than adults and in reality they sleep less than any other age group.
Lack of sleep sees teenagers being prone to anxiety, depression, aggressive behaviour and decreased brain function. It’s a good idea to encourage lie-ins if your child wants to, as severe sleep deprivation may lead to thoughts of suicide.
Jacqui Sonik, a Johannesburg psychologist stresses the value of research in teen development, as a way to understand what could be very confusing behaviour. Understanding won’t change the behaviour but you will be more likely to empathise with your teens while they experience hormonal and cerebral growth, as well as dramatic physical changes.
All this change has a beneficial upside. Adolescents are interesting individuals with fresh perspectives. Throughout history they have been the ones to bring social change with a youthful recklessness and zeal that prompts uninhibited courage and curiosity.
For parents, one of the key messages to come out of research on teen development is to have realistic expectations as the basis for a positive relationship. It may be that parents add to the trauma as their own feelings of loss are aggravated by the changes taking place. It’s important to get to know the adults they are becoming instead of mourning the children they once were. Give guidance. Also give space.
Dr Rae Simpson who has published a document, Raising Teens highlights the transitional elements. In addition to changing bodies, they are developing complex cognitive skills, moral standards and peer relationships while reworking the relationships with adults, including their parents. This means questioning everything, Sonik says, advising parents to only fight real issues and avoid arguing about what they are eating or wearing, hair styles and the state of their rooms. Giedd suggests guiding them through choices, presenting such options as active sports enthusiast or coach potato as the new hard-wiring of the brain takes root.
Parenting teens is the reward for sleep deprivation in the formative years. App
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