We’ve heard it so many times; wife beating, verbal abuse, and
physical punishment among others are the
main component of domestic
violence. It affects not only the aggrieved wife but the hurt and the scars falls heavily on the children.
It doesn’t have to have a sound reason or a good judgment call for the abusing party to perpetuate such an act, it sits deeply within. Most of the abusers are once being abused themselves they have had experienced directly or indirectly some horrors of hurting. The scars left on their young mind grew up, what is once a dormant volcano has erupted into a fire spewing, personality and churning out obnoxious behavior to the spouse and the kids.
It’s the children that suffers most, they are the silent victims, most often when the wife, which bores most of the physical abuse leaves the house (if she finally found the courage) gets herself up and about and start a new life, had already throw back the past behind. But not the kids, they have it for the rest of their lives, their young minds, frayed with much verbal and physical abuse that they can only take so much.
Wounds heal, memories fade, but the consequence and the horror of domestic violence lingers like war, as every one of us had our own share of childhood memories. Battered kids became abusers to their own wives and kids too, and the cycle goes on for generations leaving us a society of walking wounded souls. There are no Universities anywhere in the world that offers courses on good parenting; it’s a hands-on job, so when it’s our turn to became parents we have to reprimand ourselves too of what confronts us.
For every unimaginable thing we read on the paper or heard in the news, or just plain talk on the neighbors, there is always an underlying factor behind it; every domestic violence happening in every part of the world, there is always a young soul that suffers and carries on for each succeeding generations. Wounds of the mind are deep seated, it’s invisibility to the naked eye goes off without a warning, it finds no reason to respond, its logical equilibrium lays dormant, and reacts only to a spur-of-the-moment rage.
What are we to do to help? It is not for us to play mediator for domestic violence we might witness around our neighborhood, but the harmony might start from us, being aware is enough weapon, does your home breeds’ anger? Or our heart is full of cobwebs tangled with hatred and revenge? It’s time to check, there maybe a cessation of hostilities in ethnic Europe, or a peace pact in eastern front, but did we ever come into terms of our own battlefront? That’s the war we should have won over, the war inside ourselves, it’s the killings in there that should be stopped, unless we start within, war rages on in every domestic affair and our children at the losing end.